Tanuki!

So, right now I'm obsessed with Tanuki - Japanese raccoon dogs. It should be noted that although a lot of people translate "Tankuki" as "raccoon," they are NOT AT ALL the same thing. Physically, a Tanuki looks like a cross between a raccoon and a badger...and some people overseas even keep them as pets!


Uwaaaaaaa! Tanuki ga hoshii~~ (^_^)

Tanuki are very prominent in Japanese folklore, as are Kitsune ("fox"). Now, Kitsune are said to be clever, cunning tricksters, capable of shapeshifting in order to take advantage of humans. Tanuki are said to be capable of the same thing; however, since they are lazy and lack the cunning that Kitsune have, their pranks are less malevolent and much more mischievous in nature. It is said that in order to shapeshift, a Tanuki requires a leaf - this is why, in Super Mario 3, one of the items is a leaf...and it doesn't transform you into a raccoon, it is actually a tanuki! Tanuki are also reputed to transform the leaves themselves into money and then, in human forms, buy things from the real humans with the transformed money...which will eventually turn back into leaves. All throughout Japan there are statues of tanuki, especially since they are popular lawn decorations. However, if you look at one of these statues, you will more than likely notice the prominent....err, testicles.





Do your ears hang low / Do they wobble to and fro?...


I'm sure you're thinking, "What the fuck?" ...Yeah. I was, too. Apparently, they used to use Tanuki skins in metalwork, for the purpose of thinning gold (in Japanese, "gold" is "kin"). Somehow, they came to be associated with the word "kintama," which literally means "gold ball," but in modern Japanese slang now means "balls." And now I've taught you a dirty Japanese word.

Tanuki are also popular subjects in other forms of artistic expression, not just sculpture, as evidenced by this ukiyo-e woodblock print by Tsukioka Yoshitoshi:


If looks balls could kill...

There's even a song that Japanese kids sing about Tanuki testicles:

Tan-Tan-Tanuki no kintama wa
Kaze mo nai no ni
Bura bura

Translation:

Tan-Tan-Tanuki's balls
even when there isn't any wind
Go "swing-swing"

...Bizarre, much? o_0

You know, I would be willing to pass this all off as normal, but then Japan had to come up with this gem of a commercial. Try and guess what in the hell it's an advert for:




Stumped? Not surprising. I didn't know what in the hell it was selling either. Then I did some research, and it turns out that Anabuki is a Japanese construction/real estate agency. Now, how in the hell does that have anything to do with forest animals suddenly growing/fondling their breasts and a random Tanuki encounter? Fuck if I know. I'd actually like to ask my Sensei if he'll translate the lyrics for me.

I think I'll end this post with one final ukiyo-e print:


Forget Rekishi's stinkface - It's all about humiliation by Tanuki balls.